Revamping

This is past due.  And the prior semester has pushed me back into the blogosphere for several reasons.  Number one, it was the most difficult semester of my life academically and emotionally.  At the end of the semester I realized I was exhausted, miserable and not exactly present in my everyday experiences.  I was the reduced calorie version of myself.  I was unhappy but could not figure out how to fix it.  I want to be proactive about analyzing how I'm feeling and my experiences on a weekly basis in hopes that I will be more aware of my emotional state and be able to address any negative changes before they become a trend.  Number two, I've decided I want to move to Seattle.  This decision was actually made last semester and probably contributed to the stress of that semester.  In light of this decision I have begun asking myself how I can live fully and happily in my final year here when, in many ways, my heart and mind have moved on elsewhere?  How can I continue to build a support system (one of my greatest challenges in moving here) with the knowledge that it won't be for long?  I hope to document my attempts to answer these questions here.  Number three, as most of my readers are my family I want to feel more connected with you all even when we can't communicate and call each other as much as I/we would like.  It is comforting to know, even if we aren't talking everyday, that you all have some idea of what is happening in my life and how I'm feeling.  I need to feel our family connection more than I did the past semester.

This is pretty ambitious but I think if I make this happen and post at least once a week it could be something very positive and therapeutic in my life.  I hope to even take a few more pictures around Oakland to add to my posts.

With all this in mind, here's my first piece of therapeutic writing:
Living in downtown Oakland has been new and refreshing in many ways but also very disheartening.  A group of homeless people spend every night under the drive-through covering of the dry cleaners on my corner.  An apartment building down the street is most likely a board-and-care often home to marginalized individuals who have been overlooked by the systems that were intended to help them.  These are my neighbors, along with the families walking around with babies and young couples.  This discrepancy is apparent in many cities but I believe more so in a place like Oakland.  I want to be aware of all of these things, though.  I want to know the cultural climate of my neighborhood.   So I finally went to one of the near-by Farmer's Market's this grey, early afternoon.  It was across the lake, so in many ways a very different neighborhood though no more than a mile's distance from my own.  Oakland often feels deserted, like a ghost town, especially on the weekends in the downtown area when the 9-5 work-weekers are all home in San Francisco or surrounding East Bay cities.  Getting away from downtown, the bustle and livelihood of the market was refreshing.  This street was very much alive and growing.  I enjoyed smelling the rotisserie chickens and looking through the racks of t-shirts from the store "Oaklandish" among other things.  It was very much Oakland and very much alive, something I enjoyed being a part of.  Most importantly, though, was the fact that I left the safe-haven of my studio apartment and ventured out.  This was hard to do last semester when my days at school either left me exhausted or loaded down with homework to the point that when I arrived home I locked myself in.  My intention is to continue to make time to venture without feeling guilty about spending an afternoon in leisurely activities rather than studying.  Hopefully, I'll find some buddies to join me on some of these exploration expeditions.  I'm thinking my next venture will be to the Mavericks surf spot near Half Moon Bay to catch some big wave surfers.  Will let you know how that adventure turns out.