Ooh, food is a touchy subject around these parts lately. Mostly because I love it. And want to eat whatever I want whenever I want. Then my little friend IBS rears it's ugly head. There are days when my stomach is turning uncomfortably to the point that I just don't want to eat anything. Nothing sounds good when you can hear bubbles of God knows what moving through your entire digestive system. It gets to the point, though, when I just get frustrated and say to my stomach, "I don't care if you're hurting right now, its 9:00 PM and I'm going to eat!" That usually doesn't really resolve the problem. It actually prolongs the problem the majority of the time. It's especially frustrating when I've planned a dinner with friends and by the time the dinner rolls around I've found that my stomach is in some state other than the happy, natural one I would like it to be in.
I now know stress last semester was probably a significant part of the symptoms I've experienced and they have gotten much better this semester in many ways. But whenever I feel my stress levels rising it seems to poke back around. There are also times when it pokes back around and I can't quite figure out why. Mornings are usually dicey, which is heartbreaking because having that wonderful hungry feeling in the AM and then simply fulfilling it is now a luxury and I didn't appreciate it's magnificence in the past. I know there are certain foods that aggravate things (coffee. can. ruin. me.) but some of these foods used to be my absolute favs (like cheese, and baked goods full of butter and milk). I've found some wonderful alternatives (soy yogurt is amazingly delicious and well-made vegan cookies can disguise themselves as the real thing) but it's hard sometimes to stay away from the things I know I should avoid. I also have not been charting everything I eat along with my symptoms to systematically review what foods in my diet are aggravating (this is what has been suggested by several healthcare professionals I've seen along the way). Mostly because I've charted my food intake before for a nutrition class and it takes quite some time out from your days and weeks. Thus far, I have tried to keep a running mental log of things that bite back after I've bitten (and chewed) them. I know it's probably not the best method but as I said I've identified a couple food items.
I'm wondering lately how exactly it works, trying to not only restructure your diet, but in many ways your relationship with food. Sometimes I feel like food and I are in a fight. He gets mad at me then I resolve that, but then he does something stupid and pisses me right off. The cycle continues, as one fight is dissolved another rears its ugly head. I also wonder at one point I need to head back to my GI MD to see what medications are available. What level of IBS symptoms are/should be tolerable? There's so much about this condition that is unclear which makes the day-to-day process of adjusting to it frustrating.
This has been a little bit of a rant but I think I needed to get it out. I have been voluntarily changing my concepts of food (and portion sizes) the last two years or so and this has been a wrench thrown into my changing concepts of the stuff we eat. I want to find a healthy balance with food, where I can eat when I'm hungry and stop when I'm full and not have the need to munch on something while studying or feel like I don't have the desire to eat because of the state of unrest my digestive system is in. Hopefully I'll get there.
Wednesday, March 24, 2010
Saturday, March 6, 2010
My most meaningful educational experience
My experience with higher education and its relationship to religion has been less than encouraging as a Christian. Many involved in higher education find the topic of religion in an educational discourse offensive. They seem to think that religion is for those who are unlearned and react often harshly to any mention of God.
This was delightfully not the case during my Wednesday night class at UC Berkeley two weeks ago. The class is in interdisciplinary elder care. I've had the opportunity in this class to interact with students and professors in other areas of healthcare such as optometry, social work and nutrition. I've learned what their profession's values are in their own words. It has been a great experience overall but the most powerful experience centered around the field of chaplaincy. We had a chaplain who went to a Baptist Seminary explain to us his role as part of an interdisciplinary team and answer all of or burning questions.
First, the chaplain, named Peter, was very accessible. I somehow formed the idea in my growing years that church leaders were somehow different then me and I should act a certain way around them. This idea was contradicted when my brother became a youth minister and Peter was further evidence that pastors are in fact real people. He had a wonderful sense of humor (Jerry Springer kept coming up in the course of the class) and was very grounded (when a student asked how he dealt with the heavy nature of his job he unashamedly answered that he has a spiritual mentor he meets with regularly, a very supportive network of chaplains and a therapist he sees on a regular basis). What was particularly freeing and wonderful about the class was that it made Christianity an academic subject. He explained the three modalities he uses as a chaplain to meet patient's needs and explained that he must constantly assess which modality he is using and to what extent. As an OT, I also must constantly assess my choices in treatment and adjust to meet the patient's needs. There is a common ground in the two professions. This common ground helps us work together on a team and I love the idea of working closely with chaplains. Because the idea of chaplaincy is really quite amazing; a chaplain will, without bias, meet the spiritual needs of patients. Often, this means the chaplain must help patients work through spiritual questions about a faith that may be very different from their own. This is a great burden. Peter spoke about how he struggled when he first became a chaplain because part of his Baptist training was in ministering to others and sharing his faith in the hopes of bringing people into the Baptist faith. He wrestled with having to lay down this part of his seminary training as a chaplain. He came to the conclusion that God will still create opportunities for him to share his faith, even if its not with every patient. he was not beaten down by this difficult aspect of his job, he still had hope that he would minister to others.
Another very important factor in making this class so meaningful was my classmates. They were very open to the discussion and had a real interest in the experience of a chaplain. They helped create an environment where it was safe to talk about religion, to talk about God. And Peter honestly told us about his experiences. It was an incredible sharing of information. I gained so much because my classmates were willing to quiet their own ideas and beliefs about religion. It never turned into an argument, everyone was open to learn. That openness and honesty was prevalent for the entire class time. When I walked out I had a smile on my face and told my friend Chelsey "that was the coolest class I think I've ever been to". Most importantly I was able to connect two parts of myself, my life as a student pursing higher education and my spiritual life as a Christian. Those two had never been connected before. They may never be connected in that same way again. However, I will never forget the way in which they can connect and the clarity and truth I felt during my class with a chaplain.
This was delightfully not the case during my Wednesday night class at UC Berkeley two weeks ago. The class is in interdisciplinary elder care. I've had the opportunity in this class to interact with students and professors in other areas of healthcare such as optometry, social work and nutrition. I've learned what their profession's values are in their own words. It has been a great experience overall but the most powerful experience centered around the field of chaplaincy. We had a chaplain who went to a Baptist Seminary explain to us his role as part of an interdisciplinary team and answer all of or burning questions.
First, the chaplain, named Peter, was very accessible. I somehow formed the idea in my growing years that church leaders were somehow different then me and I should act a certain way around them. This idea was contradicted when my brother became a youth minister and Peter was further evidence that pastors are in fact real people. He had a wonderful sense of humor (Jerry Springer kept coming up in the course of the class) and was very grounded (when a student asked how he dealt with the heavy nature of his job he unashamedly answered that he has a spiritual mentor he meets with regularly, a very supportive network of chaplains and a therapist he sees on a regular basis). What was particularly freeing and wonderful about the class was that it made Christianity an academic subject. He explained the three modalities he uses as a chaplain to meet patient's needs and explained that he must constantly assess which modality he is using and to what extent. As an OT, I also must constantly assess my choices in treatment and adjust to meet the patient's needs. There is a common ground in the two professions. This common ground helps us work together on a team and I love the idea of working closely with chaplains. Because the idea of chaplaincy is really quite amazing; a chaplain will, without bias, meet the spiritual needs of patients. Often, this means the chaplain must help patients work through spiritual questions about a faith that may be very different from their own. This is a great burden. Peter spoke about how he struggled when he first became a chaplain because part of his Baptist training was in ministering to others and sharing his faith in the hopes of bringing people into the Baptist faith. He wrestled with having to lay down this part of his seminary training as a chaplain. He came to the conclusion that God will still create opportunities for him to share his faith, even if its not with every patient. he was not beaten down by this difficult aspect of his job, he still had hope that he would minister to others.
Another very important factor in making this class so meaningful was my classmates. They were very open to the discussion and had a real interest in the experience of a chaplain. They helped create an environment where it was safe to talk about religion, to talk about God. And Peter honestly told us about his experiences. It was an incredible sharing of information. I gained so much because my classmates were willing to quiet their own ideas and beliefs about religion. It never turned into an argument, everyone was open to learn. That openness and honesty was prevalent for the entire class time. When I walked out I had a smile on my face and told my friend Chelsey "that was the coolest class I think I've ever been to". Most importantly I was able to connect two parts of myself, my life as a student pursing higher education and my spiritual life as a Christian. Those two had never been connected before. They may never be connected in that same way again. However, I will never forget the way in which they can connect and the clarity and truth I felt during my class with a chaplain.
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