Week 9

This is the ninth week of a total of twelve in my internship.  It may take me the first couple years of working to acclimate to waking up at 5:50 AM.  Week nine has not gotten me to the point where I am comfortable with those numbers on my clock.  It feels like I have gotten here so quickly yet at the same time I feel like I am living in slow motion.  The weather here seems to think spring won't ever end and continues to be cloudy and LOW 70's leaving me feeling as those there has been no change in the seasons.  The fact that this is the first of two internships adds to the slow motion feeling; I am going to start this process ALL over again come September 7.

I have learned so much about how to interact with patients and use myself as a therapeutic modality.  But I'm not super therapist yet.  I've realized becoming super therapist is going to take a little longer than I had initially imagined it would.  It may try my patience more than anything has in my life, becoming the therapist I want to be.  Because at the end of the day experience can count for so much.  It can give you an archive of activities for a patient where my inexperience leaves me racking my brain to think of ways to fill three 30 minute sessions with one patient.  It helps smooth the transition and interaction between evaluation and treatment.  It's the magic pixie dust that new therapists want sprinkled all over.

I know I'm getting there.  I had a field visit to the county locked, inpatient psychiatric hospital today.  I was pleasantly surprised at how quickly I could have jumped right into the mix.  It was a very real way to measure my progress.  But my supervisor is leaving for vacation for two weeks and I am now on my own with a near-full case load.  It was overwhelming today to consider what tomorrow will look like.  But I got home and worked out my plans for my patients and began to breathe a little easier.  Here comes the realness.  I think I'm ready.